Thank You, Hillary

As anyone who knows me knows, I’m not a big Hillary fan. However, today I think she came through big-time for the Democratic party, this country, and maybe even the world in general. What a tremendous speech! She made it clear why her supporters need to support Barack and why we need a Democrat, at this crucial point, back in the White House. I don’t always trust her, but I believed she was sincere this time. This was just the speech I was hoping for. I hope she goes around the country giving it from now until the election.

Some issues have been coming up as to whether Hillary can safely be chosen as a vice-presidential candidate. Foremost among them is that Bill would be pressured to release the financial records of his various foundations, which could contain some very embarrassing names as contributors. Bill has spent a lot of time influence-peddling since his days in the White House, and the payback has come in the form of contributions to his organizations. I don’t know if this is all true, but it’s the rumor.

If Hillary can’t be VP, and this is not even to say that Barack would want her, I don’t see why she wouldn’t be a fine Supreme Court justice. She’s smart and not too old. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a little side understanding between her and Barack that if she works hard to help Barack win, she’ll be first in line for a job with the Supremes. That would be fine by me.

Again, I was really pumped up by that speech. If I were a football player and my coach gave a speech like that, I’d just run out during warmups and level somebody on the other team. A truly united Democratic party will be in a great position to put a whupping on Mr. McCain — particularly if his teleprompter skills don’t improve.

Thanks again, Hillary. I mean that.

I Can See Clearly Now

By goodness, I’m feeling better about America now than I have for a while. Not because of the economy, which is moribund. Not because oil and gas prices are hurting the little guys, including myself. I feel better because, deep down, I feel that Hillary is going to concede the race in time for Barack to kick John McCain’s ass. Oops — sorry — I meant buttocks.

I’ve been studying John recently. It turns out that John has a lot in common with Dubya. First of all, they’re both stupid. John finished 894th of 899 of his class at the Naval Academy. If his daddy and granddaddy hadn’t been admirals, he wouldn’t have been in there and wouldn’t have made it through. Then, he had a completely inauspicious career in the military. Call me a communist or traitor, but I’m not impressed just because someone was in the military and was shot down or taken prisoner. I was never impressed by the fact that Bob Dole wandered in front of a machine gun.

John McCain failed in his military career. Despite having every advantage, he stalled out way below the rank that his daddy and granddaddy achieved. After he wandered around doing public relations for the Pentagon, he met some rich 25-year-old when he was 43 and immediately ditched his wife, who had been severely injured in an automobile accident. His new bride’s family money enabled him to win public office, and he’s been a politician ever since. John McCain has never had what Americans would consider a real job.

Just like Dubya, John has never accomplished anything but being granted access to wealth. I won’t even go into the fact that whatever principles he might have espoused, he long ago gave up in the attempt to court mouth-breathing fundamentalist Christians in states that are still trying to abolish evolution.

John McCain is a skank. Or skink. Or skunk. Certainly stupid. Certainly unlikely to survive his first term. Certainly bad for America. Certainly bad for the world.

I think he can be beaten. I hope that Hillary can work with Barack toward that end. I think he should offer her the vice-presidency, and I hope she takes it. She could be a great vice president, and that ticket could really unite the party. I’ll take Hillary and Barack as campaigners against Mr. Sickly and anyone he can persuade to leap aboard the Titanic.

Yeah, I know that Barack, his wife, and myself don’t really like Hillary. So what? This is politics. We work with reality. The party pulls together. With a little intelligence for a change, the Dems have a chance to make a real difference. Let’s put aside our differences and start healing this country and this world, starting with a big dollop of humility.

Don’t worry, I’ll have more funny pictures soon!

All You Need To Know About Hillary in Four Minutes

A Good Night For Barack, and Good Night Hillary

Obviously, last night was big for Barack. He did better than expected in both North Carolina and Indiana. He will end up picking up some delegates and increasing his lead in the popular vote. Most importantly, some of those superdelegates who were hedging their bets are now going to come out with their support for him. The momentum shift couldn’t have come at a better time. As for Hillary, the fat lady might not be singing just yet, but, as they say, she’s clearing her throat.

Best of all was that Barack did it the right way. In the last few weeks, while things were tough, he didn’t resort to sneak attacks or personal negativity. He stayed with his message, explained his view on the “gas tax vacation,” and apparently got some Hoosiers to listen. It’s nice to see a candidate show some grace under pressure.

Sorry, mom.

The Omen

On May 1, Hillary urged a group of supporters in Louisville to put their money on Eight Belles, the only filly running in the Kentucky Derby.

After finishing second in the Derby today, Eight Belles collapsed, broke her two front ankles, and had to be immediately euthanized.

It looks like a message to me.

Retain That Dignity, Barack

I’ve been impressed with Barack Obama lately, even though things haven’t been going too well with his campaign.   I understood why he didn’t throw Jeremiah Wright under the bus earlier.  It was because he genuinely believed that Wright’s statements had been taken out of context.  Now that Wright clarified matters by repeating the statements on every occasion available to him in the past few weeks, Barack has come to understand that Wright really is as whacko as he’s been portrayed.  Thus, Barack disowned him, with sadness that Wright was not the person he thought he knew.  I felt Barack spoke with great sincerity and dignity about this, and I hope it helps.

Also, props to Barack for refusing to support the “gas tax vacation.”  It would have been easy for him to go along with Hillary and McCain and throw that bone out there.  But he recognizes that it’s not a good idea and is doing his best to make the short-attention-span American voters understand why.  He may not succeed, but I applaud the effort.

Shame On You, Too, Hillary

John McCain and Hillary Clinton support a so-called summer “gas tax vacation.”  I would call it more of a summer “intelligence vacation.”  This is pure pandering.  There’s no way cutting 18 cents a gallon from gas prices for a few months would create substantial benefits for the American people.  First of all, there’s no guarantee that the oil companies or distributors would pass the whole 18 cents on to the public.  Secondly, gas consumption would rise, which, during the summer when gas supplies are limited, would cause price increases anyway.  Maybe the oil companies and suppliers would do a little better.  The American public would not, and the government would lose an estimated $10,000,000,000 in tax revenues.  Not good when we’re already facing huge budget deficits and the additional cost of financing an off-the-books occupation or two.

This is just a dumb idea.  It’s the kind of idea I’d expect from John McCain, because, frankly, he’s dumb.  I would expect better from Hillary, though, because she’s not dumb at all.  She’s just willing to say or do any dumb thing to get the nomination.  Her strategy is to suck up the the lowest common denominator.  Unfortunately, it seems to be working right now.   To paraphrase P.T. Barnum, for every sucker, there’s two Clintons to take ‘em.

Wright Is Wrong

Jeremiah Wright (no reverence here for him) is an ego-consumed ignoramus who apparently cares more about being on television than the future of America. Just when the furor about him was dying down, he for some inexplicable reason decided to go on a “pouring gas on the fire” tour. I’m no big fan of the American government, particularly during the last 7+ years, but I’m willing to say this: anyone who believes that our government created AIDS to kill black people is a complete idiot. If that includes a substantial part of the population, so be it. There is no evidence to support such a proposition.  These are the same people that think the U.S. government was behind 9/11 and that evolution is a myth.  The frightening thing is, a lot of them vote.

Here we have a really good candidate who also happens to be the first African-American with a legitimate chance to be president of the United States.  What are Mr. Wright’s motives in attempting to undermine him?  Is he just jealous?  Vindictive?  Just plain nuts?  Shame on  you!  If I were members of his former church, I’d consider kicking his butt out of that $1.6 million, 10,000 square foot house they built for him in Tinley Park.  Or maybe he can consider starting a vaudeville act with Ralph Nader.

Mom Hits The Bottle

Mom is always jealous of my skill with eBay. It breaks her heart when no one wants her antique canes and paintings by obscure Ohio artists, but they buy my useless hand massagers and broken stereos. Recently, though, she really thought she’d scored. She put up a really old blue bottle she had in her store (which is called “To Each His Own” and located in Painesville, Ohio). To her delight, the bids came rolling in. Right off the bat, it went up to $27.50. It would probably have gone for appreciably more by the final bell.

Would have. You see, while mom was trying to clean that bottle just a little bit more, she knocked it off the counter and BROKE IT! I checked her listing and found that it suddenly had ended without any bidders. I called and heard the whole sad story. Sorry about that, mom. I was really hoping you’d succeed this time. By the way, I just sold a malfunctioning old radio for 60.00!

Anyway, because mom is a good sport, she sent my a picture of the unfortunate aftermath of her slip.

Before:

After:

You know, that one on the right somehow reminds me of Hillary’s campaign…

Thanks Again, Ralph

I just read another interview with Ralph Nader where he was blathering on and on about his right to run for president.  It’s largely because of Ralph Nader that George W. Bush is president.  That will be Ralph’s legacy, and it’s a sad one.  Forget about the consumer advocacy stuff.  Ralph Nader’s egotism and vanity made Bush president.  That single damning epitaph will overshadow everything else when history makes its judgment.  Or at least when I make my judgment.