All Hail the King of Phones
My humble Motorola V-188 phone, which I bought for $20.00 on eBay after crushing a similar model, underwent a hideous ordeal the other day. After working on the stupid car (of course), I left Mr. V-188 in the pocket of my Dickies mechanic-onesie. I proceeded to wash and dry the mech-onesie. Only after drying for 30 minutes and hearing a bit of rattling around did my horrid mistake dawn on me. I rushed downstairs, unzipped the pocket, and dragged out a phone so waterlogged that water was gurgling around inside the screen. Tenderly, I laid it down on a towel near the heating vent, my head bowed in silent remorse.
After half a day I dared plug the phone into the charger. Fifteen minutes later, I turned on the power. Miraculously, the screen lit with a heavenly glow! My little friend booted up as though nothing had happened. Imagine my astonishment, dear readers. I’ve had a few flash drives endure the same torture, and they now lie buried in a neat little row, their caps facing the SanDisk headquarters in Milpitas, California.
To commemorate my great fortune, I turned to the finest craftsmen of Europe and commissioned a monumental stained glass window, which will soon join its peers at the Cathedral of Chartres.
All hail Motorolus Rex, the King of Phones!
